The Borg is Back, baby!

Sometimes the stars align, and the weekly theme just seems like it was written for you. Such was the case this Tuesday at Biddy McGraw’s. With “The Internet: Information Superhighway” as the theme, you could see the Borg9 collectively salivating, licking their chops as they were preparing to mop up the competition.

As I understand it, all four members of Borg9 became independently wealthy working in Silicon Valley during the 1990s, and had the foresight to get out early, cashing in right before the crash. Since, they’ve had all the time in the world to simply read Wired and MacWorld, play online high stakes poker, and spend time at PubQuiz. Amongst the team members are a former CEO of a competing  search engine that got bought out by Google, a software developer and engineer that wrote the code that eventually became basis for a Wiki dedicated to cataloging albino butterflies (don’t snicker, it’s very popular amongst microbiologists and other PhDs), an adult film auteur who financed many critically acclaimed “films” — famous for their focus on character development, plot structure, and poignant use of symbolism — and finally the Gates’ personal masseuse, who left with a huge settlement check after being injured on he job under suspicious circumstances still not able to be discussed publicly due to court order.

Okay… absolutely none of that previous paragraph is true. Or, at least, I can’t prove that it’s true, and in fact I completely made up all of it. That’s not to say, however, that it couldn’t be true, as it would go along way in explaining just how dominant Borg9 was.

Well, I guess it was only a short-lived curse.  Team Shuttlecock realized they lost when they used that team name, so they switched it up just enough – to shuttlecock.com – and it worked!  They took the first place money tonight, and MAN did they scream for ice cream when they heard they were first!  :D

That’s a super happy face, just so you know.  I’m interweb literate!  Anyway, here’s the happy team:

What an adorable team!

In second place, New Quiz on the Block – who were very strong all  night and definitely deserved some cashy-cash.  Just missing out on the money spot, team Bensters, with Newfangled “Techmology” and Oprah’s Sixth Toe right behind them.

Until next week!  Oh and sorry for the late blog.  My brain is still overheated from moving around sound equipment in 95 degree weather.  I like sunny days as much as the next pasty white Oregonian, but the hotness is just harsh!

Alright, gonna flop into bed now.  This is my brain in about 10 seconds:

This week, we indulged — nay, ENJOYED — Nathan from “Stumbling Drunks” idea to do a mashup at Shanahans, which consisted of players signing up to play, then putting their names in a hat, so that teams can be drawn randomly. Nathan was also so kind to snap photos of the evening, so this blog will be brought to you in full color!

Above you see one willing participant signing in… not every team played the Mashup — Hot Hot Heat, Bumping Uglies, and Confucious Says stuck to their regular crew, and more power to them for doing that.

This crew called themselves “Superhighway Robbery.” See if you can guess who in this photo was the only in the bar to score perfect on the Pornstar handout. Hint: It’s not the blushing redhead in the back.

“We’re Here For Beer” was also there to quiz, and they kicked some ass along the way, coming in first after four rounds. Not pictured is Chelan, who, ironically does not come to Pub Quiz for beer.

“Bonsai Kitten” totally lived up to their name, crashing head-first into the Challenge Round and then rolling over to be petted by the other teams who kicked their ass. Not pictured is Dave, who was out using the Shanahan’s office computer to look up that last porn star who’s name he couldn’t recall.

That’s me. Since everyone was wearing a nametag, someone gave me one labeled “Pierre.” Personally, I prefer “Jean Luc” if we’re going to talk about lame French names. Tuesday night’s quiz was brought to us by Lady Beer: When you piss off the waitress, expect to get served a Lady Beer.™

This was “Her First Stumbling Grokahans.” They all feigned like they didn’t know the Pornstars names, which cost them a trip to the Challenge Round in the end.

And these were last night’s winners! “Superhighway Robbery” — The first ever Pub Quiz victors to MAKE IT RAIN with their winnings (at one of my quizzes, at least). They wagered wisest and took home the big first place prize. “Here for Beer” landed the second spot, with “Bonsai Kitten” rolling in third.

That’s all for this week — come back next week and play with your regular crews, will ya? Until then, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can…

First off, thank you to all the people this past week who didn’t come to Pub Quiz dressed like Animal. I slept great this weekend, and I think it’s because of folks like you. Good people who don’t dress like this freak above.

Secondly, in an effort to stretch your Muppet mania into the future, I recommend you do yourself a solid and Google “looks like a muppet.” Each week I try to find a funny photo to brighten up your blog, and this week, that search found far, far too many.

Thursday lived up to its billing as the most sensational, Muppetational, inspirational Pub Quiz of the week, with hordes of quizzers packing in the Belmont Inn for the Thursday Throwdown. It was nice to see old friends return (Beige Food — where ya been!?), even older friends return (Coffee Shits!) and some teams just not bother and instead go to a fantasy football draft (Team Not to be Mentioned). But it was also great to see the Wildcatters back on top, a two man crew beating the Muppet stuffing out of the rest of the competitors.

Let’s see how this affects the BELMONT STEAK STANDINGS!

1 Can You Smell the Stank? 18
2 No Mouth Monkeys 17
3 Beige Food 16
4 Soylent Green 13
5 Team C Average 10
6 Kim and the Jong Ills 8
7 Crazed Sex Poodle 6
8 The Wildcatters 6
9 Hot Monkey 5
10 Scienticians 5

Only FIVE weeks left to go, and you know the Stanks anxious to hold onto the top spot. But a lot can happen in Five weeks — any team in the standings could make a charge. Come swing by FACEBOOK PAGE before Thursday’s quiz and taunt your opponents!

Until then, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can!

Come on, you got a Muppet-themed Pub Quiz rocking in the Space Room lounge? other headline could I possibly use?

And running rail to rail some ridiculous amount of Muppet knowledge, Team Canada took home the top prize on the evening in front of an increasingly competitive crowd down on Hawthorne. But this wasn’t your usual Team Canada — Dr. Adam Honeydew skipped over from Avenue Q, and Sholufugus swung over from his usual haunt at The Belmont Inn on Sesame Street to give Team Canada a boost in the arm.

Here’s a photo of the crew with the Winners Glowing Eyes of Knowledge:

And now for the SPACE ROOM SAUCER STANDINGS! Remarkable happenings on the ol’ Leader Board — Team Canada has gone on the offensive (and I don’t mean to say they’re being impolite or publicly questioning the US Healthcare system. I mean they’re kicking ass and taking names!) What’s that aboot?

1 Team Canada 21
2 Spoonful of Something 20
3 House of Ill Repute 20
4 No Future 18
5 Argyle Mafia 11
6 The Jackson Three 9
7 French Dip and Reuben 7
8 Team Cupcake 6
9 Bishop and Queen 3
10 Sparging the Mash 2

Well, that’s it for this week! (Technically last week.) Come on by and say ‘Hai!’ on my FACEBOOK PAGE. Maybe drop your favorite internet meme on my wall. That’s right, I just said meme my wall. Because that makes sense to someone, somewhere.

Until Wednesday, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can!

So exclaimed Callahan Auto, a new team to PubQuiz that showed up at 21st Ave Bar & Grill on Thursday night.  They didn’t know that this week’s theme was Jim Henson, so they were a bit short on the Muppet-info.  But as they proclaimed, “we enjoy coming from behind.”

Original Art by Dom Giansante

Two regular teams, this week known as The Bunson Honeydews and The Electric Mayhem,  had control of the game from the start.  Nearly neck and neck throughout the evening, the two teams dominated round after round, spewing Muppet-tastic knowledge. In trying to out-duel one another, though, they left the door open (we’ll assume it was the backdoor) and Callahan Auto was more than happy to, well, fill the void.

The Bunson Honeydews had the category choice going into the Final Challenge Round, and put up a wager exactly matching the points of 2nd place The Electric Mayhem – obviously a tactic based less in strategic gamesmanship, and moreso an antagonistic move, some sort of twisted “strategery” due to their high confidence level (and comparably high BAC).

Callahan Auto, who had limped into third, knew better and played it safe with a goose egg wager. Safe, right?

In this instance, coming from behind was more than safe, it was successful. When the other two teams misfired on the Final Challenge Round answer (Britain’s own 007, Roger Moore–in my humble opinion the most lackluster of the 007s, but I digress…), a big fat goose egg bet was all Callahan needed to–ahem!–get over the hump.

The PubQuiz Virgins, Who Found Tthey Enjoy Coming From Behind

I’ve often expressed how much I hate everything George Lucas touches.  You know, because it inevitably turns to complete crap.  Did you know that he fought – he fought HARD – to call the latest Indiana Jones movie not “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” but “Indiana Jones and the Space Men”.  AND THE SPACE MEN!  He’s so BAD at… EVERYTHING that it just boggles the mind how he isn’t badly in need of a haircut and sleeping in a garbage can.

Try ruining movies NOW, Lucas!  Just try it!

The one exception to Lucas’s obsession with all things talentless is the original Star Wars trilogy.  I think we’ve stumbled upon the reason this week!  The pure talent of a guy like Frank Oz channeling Yoda rubbed off on Lucas, who stepped up his game and put everything he had into making those three films.

Doing a quick IMDB search of their overlaps confirms it partially – they worked on the episodes IV, V, and VI of Star Wars, but they also worked on the new crappy Star Wars.  Meh, maybe it’s not the smoking gun I was looking for.  For now, Lucas will carry on taunting us all with his stupid movies and overwhelming hair.

Congratulations to the Sheep Shaggers for the first place spot last night, in the very first Pub Quiz at the newly renovated Morgy’s Pub and Grill (Diane loves the women’s bathroom paint job):

Todd and Carla are awesome, and they are making some good changes to the place!  They are now open till 10pm on weekdays, AND are open on the weekends.  They do breakfast too on certain days.  I’ll have to try the menu next week and see what’s up – you know how I likes my food.

In second place money was Dazed & Confused, which makes it certain the rivalry between them and the Shaggers will be huge next week as they jockey for bragging rights.

Happy Friday everyone!  I have lots of family in town this week (dad, Uncle Bob, sister) and can’t wait to hit up some markets and the library with em.  That’s right, excitement is my middle name. Jeremy the Farmer’s Market Library goer.  So racey.

So I mentioned last night that I meant to come dressed as Miss Piggy, but couldn’t find my pig nose. Well just for you, I photoshopped a li’l picture of what I would have looked like, with a pig nose. You’re welcome!

But what of the quiz, you ask? ALL THE TEAMS made it into the final challenge round! Go you! It was a close game. It could have been anyone’s game, really (especially if your team name was PORK CHOP EXPRESS). Okay, so PCE did actually come out a bit ahead, but who’s counting? (Oh and sorry ‘bout forgetting that one bonus point, PCE. Thanks for letting me know about it after round 2.)

Anywhoha, PCE seemed to have abundant knowledge of not only Muppets, but also of chemistry, oddly enough. And they got lucky with that 10 point daily double in the Jeopardy round (Steve Whitmire? Who… how do you people have that much room in your brains??)

Winners Pork Chop Express

But it was neck-and-neck for that $10 second place jackpot, and the 3 SE Chix gave those 4 That’s MRS. Piggy to you, Biotches a run for their money.  Just for winning second place, TMPTYB also scored an illustrated Return of the Jedi book thingy.  In the end, however, it was the SE Chix who took home the bacon (well, the Sellwood Swine…) for winning third place. I hope they bring her back.

Hi-YA!!!

Runners up That's MRS. Piggy to You, Biotch

Third place The SE Chix with the Sellwood Swine

Wow what a great pub quiz it was last night!  There were quite a few Jim Henson fans out there.  One team brought in some pretty rare muppet tamborine’s which was nice to see!

Let me tell ya!  I love the Jeopardy rounds, they are so much fun seeing as everyone gets involved.  Moans and groans when other teams snatch the daily doubles away and cheers when you are the team who gets the daily double, but then some more groans when you find that you don’t know the answer!  Ah, what fun!

The final round was great, all the teams had pretty hefty wagers and ALL 3 teams knew the right answer.  So it came down to the wagers, luckily team Electric Mayhem who came into the final round in the lead, smartly wagered just 2 more points then their closest competitor.  So Congrats to them!

Hope to see you all next week at BTBC, John PQM!

But usually only when other shows are using you as a joke setup.

So awesome.

Another big night at The Thirsty Lion!  Congratulations to first place winners Stringing Along – a two-member team who got out of the Lion before I could snap up their picture for the blog.  Instead, here’s a random picture of that fuzzy..dog.. thing from The Dark Crystal:

That movie was so weird, and so awesome.  Crazy movies that tell fantastical tales like that are really rare these days.  Well, I guess The Dark Crystal is in a league of its own really.  You know, in total units of freaky.  Jim Henson was kind of a master at making children’s movies that really weren’t children’s movies.  Here we have a live action film using nothing but puppets, and I know people that could NOT finish it when they were kids.  It’s like in the Neverending Story, there was that scarey part with the evil dog thing in the cave, with the glowing eyes… Yeah, The Dark Crystal is like that but but for TWO DAMN HOURS.  Good times.

Taking second place last night was Yahtzee!  Right behind them with third was Cattle Prodigy, taking the third money spot.

Speaking of Cattle Prodigy – I have your gift certificate from last month’s Thirsty Lion Monthly Standings!  I’ll have it with me next week.

Here it is, the August monthly standings:

4 points – Cattle Prodigy
3 points – The Happiness Consultants
3 points – I’m with Stupid
3 points – Stringing Along
2 points – Yahtzee!
2 points – X ++
1 point   – The Charlies

See y’all next week!