Oh the scary things you’ll find in the House of Ill Repute. Just look in one of their closets — that’s where Mike found this perfect-match for a George shirt. Creepy how much alike the two button-downs look, huh? Imagine what you’d find in the House’s basement! Eeeekkk… I shudder to think.

Actually, the night was filled with more more pleasant visuals — especially the sight of the Jackson Three making it to their third Pub Quiz in four weeks. Gotta hand it to this scrappy little squad: They scream and drink like Team Cupcake used to, but they’ve found a way to win — and fast! Last night The Jackson crew took second place over the House of Ill Repute, and they would’ve taken home all the Bosco, but Team Canada outwagered and outsmarted the newbies for the big salad.

Check out how proud Team Canada was of theri hard-fought victory:

And they should be excited — they are starting to climb up those SPACE ROOM SAUCER STANDINGS! Six weeks down, eight weeks to go… here’s where the madness stands:

1 House of Ill Repute 14
2 Spoonful of Something 13
3 No Future 13
4 Team Canada 10
5 Argyle Mafia 8
6 French Dip and Reuben 7
7 The Jackson 3 5
8 Team Cupcake 4
9 Bishop and Queen 3
10 Sparging the Mash 2

That’s all for this week, folks. Be sure to visit my FACEBOOK PAGE during the week… and until next Wednesday, be well, play hard and try to remember everything you can!

We had dueling Soup Nazis at Shanahan’s on Tuesday, and man did that make for some contentious quizzing! “No soup for you!” “NO! No soup for YOU!” Let’s face it, most of us weren’t getting any soup, because only one team gets to walk out with the big pile o’ bread.

With 47 people playing, there were three teams in the Challenge Round — but when we get so close to the 50 player/5 team cut-off, the pots can get really big! Assisted with my two Soup Nazis, I read out the top three teams (Her First Mistake, Stumbling Drunks, and That’s What She Said) — well, check that, I read the first, second and FOURTH team, which is when the Soup Nazi’s explained there’d be NO SOUP for 4th, which was C U Next Tuesday.

Now, a note here: I do feel badly about this. In retrospect, not the nicest way to run a Pub Quiz, and if I had known that C U Next Tuesday would only miss the Challenge Round by ONE POINT, I would’ve never have orchestrated such an elaborate ruse. My deepest apologies, C U Next Tuesday. I do indeed hope to see you next Tuesday.

But the rest of the Challenge Round went off without a hitch — none of the teams new the answer, Stumbling Drunks bet zero, and they ended up taking home the bit pot. Second place That’s What She Said were happy just to grab some cash, and Her First Mistake got the “thumbs up” and nothing else. The Drunks wanted their picture with me in it this week — who am I to say no to that?

That’s all for this week. Don’t forget to tell your friends about my FACEBOOK PAGE and will someone please actually link to my TWITTER FEED? Come on, share the love!

Should’ve known it was Team Canada’s night right when I started printing out the questions. Case in point: What team sport includes penalties for icing, offsides, and offsides pass? I’m surprised Theo managed to not fall out of his chair when I read that aloud. And for all the crap I’ve given him the last few weeks, I have to give him credit as the most consistent member of the team formerly known as Clarification, Please? (Which in itself is a dubious honor… it’s like being the only New Kid On the Block to continue with a musical career.)

Do you know where the rest of the CP? clan has been this summer? Playing kickball… I know I make fun of you quizzies for nerding it up, but that’s even worse. Worse yet, I bet they drop their fair share of kickball bunts, too.

But I digress. Team Canada won on Wednesday, narrowly beating out Argyle Mafia, with whom they were neck-and-neck with the entire night. It was a pretty exciting match to watch from my perspective — each round these two teams were only points away from each other. Argyle walked out in second place on the evening, with House of Ill Repute leaving in third.

And now for the SPACE ROOM SAUCER STANDINGS! We are just over 1/3 of the way through the season now, and a familiar sight tops the leaderboard — a three-way tie between Spoonful, No Future and House. This is how we finished last season — could it be that these teams are truly well-matched for each other? Or could one of the other teams in the top ten surge to #1 in the remaining 2/3rds of the summer? Time will tell. In the meantime:

1 Spoonful of Something 12
2 No Future 12
3 House of Ill Repute 12
4 French Dip and Reuben 7
5 Argyle Mafia 7
6 Team Canada 6
7 Team Cupcake 3
8 Bishop and Queen 2
9 The Jackson Three 2
10 Sparging the Mash 2

That’s all for this week, folks. Hit up my FACEBOOK PAGE, and if you would, give me a #ForwardFriday on my TWITTER FEED. I’ve got 9 Twitter followers. It’s embarrassing, y’all!

Until next week, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can!

This guy walks up to me to register his team, “Kim and the Jong Ills” and there was no way that I was giving him only 3 bonus points — I mean, that’s a quality shirt, no? Then he busts out the Railroad tattoo and I say, “Well, alright, you just maxed out your bonus points — anyone who permanently alters their body for a quiz gets the max.” (Settle down, quiz nerds — they had 6 game pieces, too…) THEN he breaks out the Utilities symbol on his other pit (by the way, was that B&O Railroad?), and I knew all the other teams at Belmont’s Thursday Throwdown were totally screwed.

I mean, if you’re going to ink Monopoly all over your body, you better win on Games week. And they did — “Kim & the Jong Ills” built hotels and houses all over second place “Can you Smell the Stank?” and third place “No Mouth Monkeyopoly.”

Look out for the Illin’ crew — they know a thing or two about a thing or two!

And now for the BELMONT STEAK STANDINGS! Despite scoring only one point this week, Beige is still on top, but the Monkeys have picked up a point on their pace. The season is only 1/3 over, which means there’s still plenty of time to make your mark. Stank wants it bad, and seems to be getting smarter each week. And Soylent Green have consistently been one or two questions away from some big points. And who knows, maybe C Average will get their shit together and actually show up each week… I kid! I kid! I kid because I love…

1 Beige Food 13
2 No Mouth Monkeys 10
3 Soylent Green 9
4 Can You Smell the Stank? 8
5 Crazed Sex Poodle 6
6 Team C Average 6
7 Kim and the Jong Ills 5
8 Hot Monkey 4
9 Get Your Ass to Mars 4
10 Scienticians 3
11 Pop Tart Assassins 3

That’s all for this week, folks. Hit up my FACEBOOK PAGE, and if you would, give me a #ForwardFriday on my TWITTER FEED. I’ve got 9 Twitter followers. It’s embarrassing, y’all!

Until next week, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can!

Well, Billy Mays didn’t sell Pac-Man machines, but what the headline pre-supposes, is what if he did? Ah, what a crazy-mixed up world it would be if that were the case. It would be like a Portland team coming up and winning a Pub Quiz in Vancouver… wait… what? My producers just informed me that indeed, a Portland crew did win this week.

According to my score sheet, that is indeed a fact. “Her First Mistake,” stormed into Shanahan’s at the very start of Round 1 and went on a trivia-fueled killing spree, not stopping until they walked out with the week’s heft first place prize. From Highlander songs to Chinese newspapers, they knew all the right answers and walked out most victorious — despite 5 other teams in the Challenge Round trying to stop them!

Well played, “Her First Mistake”… THIS TIME. I’m sure next week the Shanahans crew (led by the suddenly, surprisingly smart TEAM Shanahans) will be back next week, in greater numbers, to take you down.

Until then, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can!

Ah, Randy Johnson… ye of the professional pornographer name and mighty strikeout ability. Anyone remember his first day in New York as a member of the Yankees, how he attacked a photographer? Just imagine that giant hand coming for your face. Now imagine where else that hand has been! Oh, Randy…

Want to know some interesting trivia about him? No retired from baseball, Randy is planning on becoming a rock photographer. True story!

Well, our dirty-word themed Pub Quiz at the Thursday Throwdown was a no-paparazzi event, too. Five teams piled into the Challenge Round, hoping to walk out with a hefty little pot. Padawan Pub Quizmaster Belinda was there to cut her teeth on the mic, and like they say about some little city that I loathe, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

And new team “Hot Monkey” (not to be confused with the “No Mouth Monkeys”) certainly made their mark on one of Pub Quiz’s premiere venues. They bested fourth-place “Beige Food” and fifth-place No Mouth Monkeys, to come in first place, just ahead of second-place “C Average” and third-place newbies “Crazed Sex Poodle”.

Just goes to show, just when you thought competition would ease up for the summer at the Belmont, it’s actually heating up! Seems everyone wants a make their mark on the BELMONT STEAK STANDINGS! Just look at the standings — we’re only four weeks into this 14-week season, but it’s already shaping up to be a challenging summer at the Belmont.

1 Beige Food 12
2 Soylent Green 8
- No Mouth Monkeys 8
4 Crazed Sex Poodle 6
- Team C Average 6
6 Can You Smell the Stank? 5
7 Hot Monkey 4
8 Get Your Ass to Mars 3
- Scienticians 3
10 Many, many teams 2

That’s all for this week, folks! Until next week (well, later this week), stop by and say hello on my FACEBOOK PAGE! And do me a favor — Give me a #FollowFriday shout out for my anemic TWITTER FEED. I promise I’ll start using it!

In the meantime, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can!

You know, you’d think in the Space Room, I wouldn’t have to point these things out. But last night, when I asked for the name of the red supergiant star that makes up the right shoulder of the constellation Orion, three teams answered “Mars.” Mars! It’s a planet, morons, not a star!

Ugh. Why do I expect more from these people? It’s the summer time — everyone’s going gagga over the sun, not planets. It’s like you give Portland one sunny day and they turn into a bunch of poo-throwing zoo monkeys who don’t know their asses from their Orions!

Thank GOD for No Future. This gothy crew hasn’t seen a sunny day since the last day of school in the second grade — sheet white and the stunning intellect to match. Only three of them turned out for the quiz, and that’s all that was needed to take down their two biggest competitors: second-place Spoonfuls and third-place House of Ill Repute. How pale, smart, and sickly are these guys? Check this out:

Now reminder: Only three of those faces actually showed up this week, so don’t spread the credit all around. In fact that trio was also responsible for getting No Future into first place in the SPACE ROOM SAUCER STANDINGS Plenty of time to go — we’re only a few weeks into the 14 WEEK season, so lots can change, but here’s the standings right now:

1 Spoonful of Something 11
- No Future 11
3 House of Ill Repute 10
4 French Dip and Reuben 7
5 Argyle Mafia 4
6 Bishop and Queen 2
- Team Cupcake 2
- Team Canada 2
- The Jackson 3 2
10 Many, many teams 1

That’s all for this Wednesday, people… Be sure to stop by and visit my FACEBOOK PAGE or my TWITTER FEED, and until next week, be well, play hard and try to remember everything you can!

Alright, to be clear, Shanahan’s is not usually the place we’d talk about exploding manholes. (That’d be Joystick Joe’s Jerk Chicken Menagerie, down the street.) But on Tuesday, in addition to Bieber Fever, the city of Vancouver had Manhole Mania, too.

Yes, we were swamped with dirty words on Tuesday’s Pub Quiz — dirty words, and dirty birds, as Josh and Adam from Belmont Inn’s “Can You Smell the Stank on My Hangdown” were the latest to venture north of the border to take on Washington’s best quizzers. And despite their best efforts, they weren’t able to steal the Shanahan’s bacon and bring it back to PDX. Instead they fell just a few points short of the Challenge Round, which was packed full with six teams.

And coming out at the head of the pack when the night was all said and done was the Grokstars! They put in the big ZERO wager to outfox all the other teams looking to take home the night’s top honors. Well played Grokstars!

And as a result of their victory, they get their photo taken with my new and improved camera — which, depending on how you hold it, ALSO makes phonecalls! Check out how much better the Grokstars look now that I’ve got the proper equipment:

That’s all for this week, folks… Until next Tuesday, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can!

Ever look around a Pub Quiz and wonder why there aren’t more 22 year olds pounding down fruity cocktails and padding the pot? The answer is easy: It’s easier to score in a World Cup Final than it is at bar trivia. Sorry Egon Spengler, but chicks aren’t interested in the size of your epididymitis. But not for Bat Boy! Man does Bat Boy get some ass…

No one knew this — until now — but Bat Boy LIVES in the Belmont Inn! No, really! It’s not widely reported, because he’s actually one of the surly regulars who’d rather the Pub Quiz quiet down and not run late. But he’s there, every Thursday — just look up. (Or, if you’re in the bathroom, DON’T look up!)

This week though, it was bit of science non-fiction making the headlines: Soylent Green beat out some of Pub Quiz’s toughest competitors to claim the BIG first place prize. I’m not 100% certain, but this might’ve been the first time Soylent has won the night’s top honors, but even if it’s their first, I’m not surprised. Soylent has quietly climbed the ranks of Pub Quiz’s Most Dangerous Teams in recent months, scrapping their way into the Challenge Round several times. And get this — they are a quad of just three people! That, my friends, is some brains! Brains!? Braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiinss… Oh wait, wrong Charlton Heston movie.

Soylent Green is people — too fast people, at that. I was unable to snap their winning photo this week. So instead, here’s a picture of what their team t-shirt should look like:

Move over Beige Food! Looks like consumables now come in a NEW color! Beige took home third place honors on the evening. “Get Your Ass to Mars” Got their ass back to the Belmont — and they came in second. Well played!

And now for the BELMONT STEAK STANDINGS! The calendar is playing tricks with us this season — there’s FOURTEEN WEEKS in this season’s competition. Combine that with the summer being a time that teams tend to to be a little lax in their weekly attendance — and that means that teams have a better chance than ever to win. Here’s how the scored look through the first three weeks:

1 Beige Food 10
2 Soylent Green 6
3 No Mouth Monkeys 5
4 Can You Smell the Stank? 4
5 Crazed Sex Poodle 3
6 Get Your Ass to Mars 3
7 Pop Tart Assassins 2
8 Team C Average 2
9 Scienticians 2
10 Team Wolverine 2

That’s all for this week. Be sure to hit up my FACEBOOK PAGE or my TWITTER FEED which I will actually start using soon, I swear! Until then, be well, play hard and try to remember everything you can!

Shocking news out of SE Portland this week, as it appears that aliens swept in from Vancouver to partake in this past Wednesday’s usual Pub Quiz. “They looked just like one of us,” said one aghast quizzer who refused to be identified. “They even ordered quesa-dillas and everything!”

The team, which went by the name “Children of the ‘Couve” performed averagely, possibly in an attempt to not raise any suspicions or alert other teams to their presence. They finished fourth place on the night, just one spot out of getting into the Challenge Round.

“I would’ve thought they had some sort of higher knowledge,” said another quizzer, also choosing to remain anonymous. “It turns out they’re just as clueless about Checkstand Literature as we were… still, they did seem to know a lot about People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.”

Instead, defending Earth’s title as the best quizzers in the galaxy, French Dip and Reuben took home their first ever Pub Quiz victory! It was a hard-fought night for French Dip who defeated reigning Space Room Saucer Champions “Spoonful of Gossip” and the Saucer Runner Ups, “House of Ill Repute.”

However, no photographic evidence of the Aliens or the French Dip victory survived the night. “Children of the ‘Couve” must’ve had some sort of device that erases photographic evidence. Instead, here’s an artist’s representation of what French Dip looked like while defeating the martians:

And now for the SPACE ROOM SAUCER STANDINGS! The calendar is playing tricks with us this season — there’s FOURTEEN WEEKS in this season’s competition. Combine that with the summer being a time that teams tend to to be a little lax in their weekly attendance — and that means that teams have a better chance than ever to win. Here’s how the scored look through the first three weeks:

1 Spoonful of Something 9
2 House of Ill Repute 7
3 No Future 7
4 French Dip and Reuben 7
5 Argyle Mafia 3
6 Bishop and Queen 2
7 Team Cupcake 2
8 Team Canada 2
9 Buck the Fonus 1
10 Timors 1
11 LPG and her Trusty Nerd 1
12 Just come with something I donk care 1
13 Linoleum Loafers 1
14 Pix Fights 1
15 Children of the ‘Couv 1
16 Pop Tart Assassins 1
17 The Jackson Three 1

That’s all for this week. Be sure to hit up my FACEBOOK PAGE or my TWITTER FEED which I will actually start using soon, I swear! Until then, be well, play hard and try to remember everything you can!