Before I begin, consider, if you will, the cape. Of all the terrible fashions to come back in style, why hasn’t there been a resurgence of the cloak? I, for one, beg J. Crew or Banana Republic to get in on this action. Why? Well frankly, my neck and shoulders get cold in the winter, while the rest of my body stays the same. Nowadays, capes seem reserved for uber-villians and theater projects. Why!? I want to wear a cape, and I don’t want to feel ashamed for doing it. This is Portland, after all. If there was ever a climate for capes, this would be it.

But I digress. There’s never a dull moment at the Belmont Inn people. Really. All night went smoothly, and while those moments might be perceived as ‘dull’ I was waiting for the hammer to drop — and boy, did it.

The Bingo round went swimmingly, despite the bar’s repeated attempts to make me titter into the microphone while saying ‘dork’ and ‘penis.’ Not an easy task, I assure you.

Round Two went just fine — all Quizlink confusion aside. Sure, it wasn’t easy, but if it was easy, everyone would get perfect scores. Handouts went great! You guys are all just evil geniuses, I guess.

And then came the Challenge Round. I won’t recap that hot mess, but I will say this: Next time things will go differently. Only the top 5 teams will be in the final round (unless there’s a tie for 5th, then I will let in only those tied teams). So that means if there’s a tie for first and second and one team in third, there you have it, you’ve got five teams. If I have to be the bad guy, so be it. I will be the bad guy, even if I don’t own a cape.