Biddy’s, already one of the more pleasant venues around to host a quiz at, served up last night what may have been the easiest quiz I’ve ever run. People were just straight chilling in the face of a rowdy Superbowl Sunday theme, as if everyone had smoked a huge bowl at 6:30 PM (I know I did, know what I’m saying? YEAH!? WOOOOOOO! Football rules!!!)

There was one guy who meekly approached the table before round 2 to ask if I accepted “Stones” as the answer to Bingo #17. I said, “no sir, I’m sorry I did not, because the answer is ‘gemstones,’ and I think your answer needed to reflect that distinction.” And then he said, “okay, thank you very much,” and went ever-so-gently back to his fish ‘n’ chips and beer. I love it when people are nice. Makes everything so much easier.

Despite the mellow vibes, we actually wound up with a pretty intense quiz, with Yellow #5 and Six Hail Maries duking it out for first and second throughout most of the night. Then, after round 2, the Dirty Birds made things interesting with a thrilling last-second comeback thanks to some strong pencil quiz scores. They almost didn’t even get their final forms turned in, failing to bring them up even after I pointedly spoke their name into the mic, saying, “oh you dirty, dirty birds. You’re so very dirty. Why won’t you turn in your forms? You dirty, dirty birds.” Yes even after this creepy plea, they failed to come up, but then SLIPPED ‘em in just under the buzzer after I finally said, “all right you dirty dirty birds, I’m just gonna have to assume you’ve left for the evening. and now for the answers to the pencil quizzes.” That’s when they RAN to the table with the necessary papers. And good thing too. Their strategic stalling earned them a slot in the top three, where they prompted finished third and took home no money. But a great stab at it all the same you dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty birds.

Yours truly,

Plaxico Burress