Until, that is someone walked up and put down their wedding ring, saying this: “It wasn’t my boyfriend that broke us up, it was the STATE OF OREGON after they decided we couldn’t be legally married anymore” WOW. That one got me. Really, nothing worse than the fucking state jumping in to say “Um, no you didn’t bitch” How do you put that shit in a little box? You can’t really AVOID the state of Oregon for jumping the shark like that. I mean, you live here, you work here, you’re here. And yet, there you have it. The worst break up story in the history of Valentine’s week. Well, that one and the HIV + card I saw that someone else’s boyfriend left behind. Ouch. Lifetime ouch.

I’m lucky that I got out relatively unscathed of the game of heartbreak. (of course, it’s all relative to where you’re standing man) I mean, I’ve got a little box of mementos from over the years, and I do have that novel that I’m working on. (so, you know who you are, I’d be REALLY fucking nice to me if you ever see me again, otherwise, I’m putting a link into your FB/ Twitter page right in my novel sweetheart) and, I do have a Facebook page and Twitter where these old flames seem to congregate and pay homage to the sweetness that is me, but even though it’s been a long time in the broken heart department, I’ve got some wounds. Hell, I spent one sad craptastic fall/ winter in Ohio listening to Don Henley’s “New York minute” and Bonnie Tyler’s “Total eclipse of the heart” at the pizza place I worked at. You’d think I’d gone mad I played those songs so much and wallowed in self pity. (It was a VERY BAD selection of music, gimme a break, it was that or country, and who the hell goes THERE in a break-up without whiskey on hand?) Though it could very well have been that “Achey Breaky Heart” song on the jukebox that made me nuts, honestly. Those are the only three songs I remember from that summer. All in all though, I’d like to think I made it out okay. I arrived safely on the other side of a broken and tossed up heart, to live and love again. I mean, really, I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. Just ask any pub quiz player in town, and they’ll profess to you, just how much they love me. I win.

Tonight’s big winner: Chile con Carnival! a two person team (who won $55 tonight) who survived the tear jerker breakup of team T/X of winning Pub Quiz fame. Cheers to you Chile Con Carnival for your winning spirit that perseveres the quest of Pub Quiz even after that nasty break up. You’re always welcome at our lonely hearts club on Monday night.

And no, I will not be putting this song in my playlist. I can’t relive that shit. So, turn around bright eyes, and march right back out that door. You suck. However, you should really see THIS which tells the story of the above video much better than the actual video AND stars Natalie Portman.