But the levy was dry. What’s with that? I mean, I just want to drink my whiskey and rye and talk about this being the day that we die. This’ll be the day that I die. Myyyy Myyyy miss American pie!

In band camp, this one time… You know, the first American Pie movie was okay in that awkward Meet The Parents way. And Jason Biggs was awkward enough to get a few laughs. But did it really merit so many sequels? Was the franchise that popular?

I mean, you’ve got American Pie 2, American Wedding, American Pie Presents Band Camp, American Pie Presents The Naked Mile, American Pie Presents Beta House… I’m not even sure if that’s all of them. Look at this -

What the hell is this? It even says “Presente” like it’s slightly in another language or something. I can’t even tell. When I see how far this thing has gone, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills or something. (Thanks Will Ferrell!)

Aaaanyway. Tonight the game was close all night, but The Sheep Shaggers clawed their way to first place! Just points behind in second was Dazed & Confused. But next week is another game, and it’s anyone’s game at that. Sheep Shaggers are goin’ DOWNNNNN!

Afterward we had an awesome sparkler party in the parking lot. The sun was right in our eyes, and even though we were thusly blinded it wasn’t quite as fun playing with fireworks before dark. Also, I think about half of us got angry sparkler burned. Those things are more dangerous than I remember, man!

Oh and P.S. Mike, I really want that phone damnit.

P.P.S. Blake is a brave, brave man doing that with his shirt when people were lighting angry sparklers mere feet from him.