What’s up, huge-ass crowd? 75 people showed up tonight at the ol’ Belmont Inn, lusting for some hot, steamy geography action. It was nice to see my old friends Beige Food, from my Red Room days, walk in the door. They handled the much larger room with typical aplomb, placing third and nearly winning the whole darn thing. Also exciting was the arrival of a new team, Magical Unicorn, who made the top five in their very first time out. It was surprisingly thrilling to walk this nubile group of newbies through the ropes, explain to them what each form was and that they should only take one of each… and then watch as they totally kicked ass. They’ll be back.

The winners on this sultry evening were the Boomshanka squadron, who proved that in addition to being intimidatingly good at pub quiz, they have a name that really lends itself to verbal assault from the other teams (B-oooooooo-mshanka…).

The crowd was rowdy tonight and relentless, calling us on anything that was remotely vague, questionable or in one case, dead wrong. I will now never forget that the diner jargon, “wreck ‘em,” means scrambled eggs. Not after the incredibly loud cheer we received upon announcing our original Turkish Millionaire answer, “jam-on-toast,” was incorrect. I have never heard a pub quiz crowd cheer that loudly… now if only I can get that response from you hungry wolves for something I do right

A couple other high points:

-Quiz writer Toni’s audio clue was perhaps my favorite movie quote in history, in which John Candy accuses Steve Martin of “Playing with your balls a lot” in John Hughes’ remarkable Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. It would have been a perfect moment had not one of the non-pub-quizzing pool jockeys got so excited that he recognized it he decided to yell the answer out. My assistant and I gave him looks of such sheer, unadulterated disgust he promptly left, hanging his head. I felt kind of sorry for him honestly (assistant Renee can really burn you with the ice-glare when she wants to), but come on, dude. Figure it out.

-One of the Bingo round questions was, “What state’s state song is named after a Rogers and Hammerstein musical,” (it’s Oklahoma), which sparked our favorite wrong answer of the night:

“Delaware.”

Ahh, that rousing Rogers and Hammerstein classic… “Delaware.”

Deeeee-la-ware! where the wind goes…

Wait a minute, does Delaware have a windy climate? Or is it more rainy? Or is it kind of sunny… or…? The whole experience has made me realize I know absolutely nothing about Delaware; in fact it is the one state that holds such a spot in my mind. Every other state I can at least conjure a general idea about what goes on there, like at least if it has a notable landmark, or a cool city, or if it’s hot… or something. But Delaware? What the hell goes on in Delaware? Is anyone actually from Delaware? Has anyone actually ever been there? Is it actually a wormhole that transports you from Rhode Island to Maryland or something?

I beg you to tell me, my faithful pub quizzers, WHAT THE HELL GOES ON IN DELAWARE!!

Here’s what:

xoxoxo, Justin