How have I gone decades being an enormous Seinfeld fan and not known Jerry Seinfeld’s real name is Jerome? It’ll be a mystery that haunts us all to our graves, but until then thank you to Proud We Are of all of Them for enlightening me to this little known or perhaps commonly known fact. On the handout, Guess the Celebrity, they wrote Jerome Seinfeld and at first I laughed and laughed because I thought maybe they thought it was his real name, and then I googled it and discovered it IS his real name and that I am a dumbass and they are smart. Next I suppose you’ll tell me Larry David’s real name is Lawrence. Never!
Anywho, congrats to Porkchop Express for once again taking the cake tonight. I knew they were a super team from the minute they formed and every time they show up they seem to put in a good performance. Thanks for validating my prediction! It’s like winning at the horse track only I don’t get any money outside of my Pub Quiz freelance fee of $500 an hour.
Thanks to Executive Assistant, Jr. David tonight, who filled in for Executive Assistant, Sr. Renee, who is off in Stillwater, Oklahoma watching fireworks in style. David picked up on the grading and so forth like a champ, and we had a super-smooth quiz. the only beef was with this question:
What is the extra energy of an object due to its motion called?
The answer I have is Kinetic Energy, but some folks argued it is acceleration. I was a few beers down at that point so I couldn’t really process the argument, but can anyone comment below and explain such a rationalization…? I’m no scientist, I’ll tell you that.
What else? I was happy to have Team Yankees in the house tonight even though I loathe their baseball team with a passion I can’t convey in print. What can I say? I’m a Northwesterner/Mariners fan to the core and the Yankees (and Angels) are the closest thing our feeble excuse for a team has for a rival. But then, what team doesn’t have the Yankees for a rival? I dunno. I’m drunk. They brought me up a pretty little styrofoam block decked out with about 50 paper American flags on toothpicks. I KNOW I wasn’t supposed to award bonus points for paper flags, but come on? Flags in a styrofoam block? Does any object provide a better metaphor for our beloved America? Probably, but it seemed apt at the time so I gave ‘em a few. Sue me. Then, Get Yer Ass to Mars approached with similar flags stuck into a Winston cigarette box, and things got CRAZY.
God, I’m boring myself now. Time to quit. Y’all have an ab/fab 4th. Drink some PBR, blow up some shit, and swim in a river. Only then will you know what it truly means to be American.
Justin