Until, that is someone walked up and put down their wedding ring, saying this: “It wasn’t my boyfriend that broke us up, it was the STATE OF OREGON after they decided we couldn’t be legally married anymore”  WOW.  That one got me.  Really, nothing worse than the fucking state jumping in to say “Um, no you didn’t bitch”  How do you put that shit in a little box? You can’t really AVOID the state of Oregon for jumping the shark like that. I mean, you live here, you work here, you’re here.  And yet, there you have it.  The worst break up story in the history of Valentine’s week.  Well, that one and the HIV + card I saw that someone else’s boyfriend left behind.  Ouch. Lifetime ouch.

I’m lucky that I got out relatively unscathed of the game of heartbreak. (of course, it’s all relative to where you’re standing man) I mean, I’ve got a little box of mementos from over the years, and I do have that novel that I’m working on.  (so, you know who you are, I’d be REALLY fucking nice to me if you ever see me again, otherwise, I’m putting a link into your FB/ Twitter page right in my novel sweetheart) and, I do have a Facebook page and Twitter where these old flames seem to congregate and pay homage to the sweetness that is me, but even though it’s been a long time in the broken heart department, I’ve got some wounds. Hell, I spent one sad craptastic fall/ winter  in Ohio listening to Don Henley’s “New York minute” and Bonnie Tyler’s “Total eclipse of the heart” at the pizza place I worked at.   You’d think I’d gone mad I played those songs so much and wallowed in self pity.  (It was a VERY BAD selection of music, gimme a break, it was that or country, and who the hell goes THERE in a break-up without whiskey on hand?) Though it could very well have been that “Achey Breaky Heart” song on the jukebox that made me nuts, honestly.  Those are the only three songs I remember from that summer.   All in all though, I’d like to think I made it out okay.  I arrived safely on the other side of a broken and tossed up heart, to live and love again.  I mean, really, I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.  Just ask any pub quiz player in town, and they’ll profess to you, just how much they love me.  I win.

Tonight’s big winner: Chile con Carnival!  a two person team  (who won $55 tonight) who survived the tear jerker breakup of team T/X of winning Pub Quiz fame.  Cheers to you Chile Con Carnival for your winning spirit that perseveres the quest of Pub Quiz even after that nasty break up.  You’re always welcome at our lonely hearts club on Monday night.

And no, I will not be putting this song in my playlist.  I can’t relive that shit.  So, turn around bright eyes, and march right back out that door.  You suck.  However, you should really see THIS which tells the story of the above video much better than the actual video AND stars Natalie Portman.

The game is simple. Either eat or drink anytime:

• announcers reference Peyton Manning was born in New Orleans
• any time they zoom in on Archie or Eli Manning
• anyone references Hurricane Katrina
• they show a close up of Drew Brees and you can see his birthmark
• they show how you can donate to Haiti (eat/drink, then donate)
• they mention Pierre Garcon is Haitian
• they reference the Colts beating the Patriots
• a commercial comes on for the beer you’re currently drinking
• The camera zooms in on a someone dressed up as an animal or Kim Kardashian
• Brett Favre is mentioned for any reason

So the Big Time Brewing Company had another big showing yet again… Just under 50 people came out and decided to play this week, which is a pretty darn big number for us at the BTBC.

It was 4th and 10, five teams waited longingly to find out who was going to go home with the trophy and be crowned this weeks Quiz Champion (perhaps I’ll even make a belt and which ever team wins can take it home with them next week, not only will this provide some incentive for teams to really research the topic cause if they win they’ll get a sweet belt but it will also ensure that the winning team just come back next week to put the belt on the line). I digress, many teams were able to get the correct answer 4 out of 5 in fact, but only one went home victorious, Hooker and Oatmeal snatched the ball out of the air to take home the Big Cash Prize… Great job Hookers and Oatmeal (love the name)!!!

Hanging Brain let it all hang out…

…and then got kicked right where it hurts in the Challenge Round, falling from dominance and glory all the way to the Pub Quiz cellar.

Six teams wrestled through the early rounds, but from the get-go Hanging Brain had a clear advantage. Sporting a Peyton Manning jersey for bonus points, they got ahead early and led throughout – until the end.

With the category choice and a clear lead, Hanging Brain really tried to pour it on and bet the bulk of their points on what they thought was a sure thing.

They were wrong.

So, who was the first team to win 5 Super Bowls?

No one seemed to know. The difference was, however, that 2nd and 3rd place teams going into the football-themed challenge round, Anagram This! and Tax Dollars at Work, knew that they probably had no idea whatsoever to play strategically. Hanging Brain must’ve missed the memo.

Three wrong answers later, Hanging Brain ‘dropped the balls’, and Anagram This! came away the victors!

Ok then, Anagram This!, anagram this:

“Weak-ass athletes”

(Hint: they will NOT be appearing in this year’s Super Bowl. Or likely any other Super Bowl in the near future.)

Here are the team names of the top 3 teams from Park way Station:

My name is Jeremy and I’ve never touched a boob

My Name is Jeremy and I’m an alcoholic

My name is Jeremy and I BELONG TO NAMBLA <– they WON. That’s going on the WEBSITE! Good thing they are buddies or I might take some offense to something like that. (Links have adult language)

For anyone who doesn’t know what NAMBLA is, you are a better person for it. I’m serious. It stands for National Man/Boy Love Association. They are pedophiles who think they have rights. And it’s real. Which is why it’s so imprtant that A) Jon Stewart and South Park make fun of it alot; and B) A bunch of my friends associate me with it using a winning team name in Pub Quiz. Right…

MOVING RIGHT ALONG! Here is a photo of the winning team of misfits this week. On the right is Natalie, who is moving out of state in search of gold, or something. We’ll miss you Natalie!

There are no lengths I won’t go to amuse you people, my fellow Belmontians (as long as it costs me under $5). That means buying an iPhone App to read questions, that means bringing in Quizmaster Polly and getting her drunk (she’s a cheap drunk), that means bringing you a cake to reward the teams who scored biggest in the Bingo Round! I love bustin’ it out for you every week, and I love that you keep coming back for more.

Speaking of more, if you didn’t get enough of last night, or you just want to see the great photos that Quizmaster Polly took for me, hop on over to the QUIZMASTER JPP FAN PAGE on Facebook. But if you’re just looking for a recap, here’s the quick and dirty:

“Beige Food” took the ball and ran with it tonight, fighting off four other teams in an eventual 100-yard dash for the cash. They came in first place, narrowly defeating “This Was No Boating Accident” by just TWO POINTS! “The Wildcatters” also played a great quiz and walked out with a portion of the prize money in third place, beating “Can You Smell the Stank on My Tight End?” and “The Monkey Shuffle,” who ended up in fourth and fifth, respectively. Here’s a photo of the winners from their glory days as Belmont Steak trophy winners:

And speaking of the BELMONT STEAK STANDINGS… Take note — this season ends on March 18th. So there’s plenty of time to make your move, or to even get started. Click the link above to learn more about it. As of yesterday’s quiz, there are SIX WEEKS (of 11) REMAINING in this season:

1 No Mouth Monkeys 14
2 Beige Food 12
3 Team YMBP 10
4 Can You Smell the Stank… ? 7
- This was no boating accident 7
- The Wildcatters 7
7 Sirens of titan 4
8 We Both Know you’re sleeping with Jamal 3
- NOT-YMBP 3
- TX Flight 815 3
- We’re Awesome! 3

This week, I’ll be making a special request of my fellow Belmontians on the Quizmaster JPP Fan Page — so keep your eyes peeled there. In the meantime, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can…

It’s going to be a quick blog entry this week, since much of my time was spent processing the photos that Emily from “No Future” took. They came out great, and you can catch them all by logging onto QUIZMASTER JPP’S FACEBOOK PAGE.

Otherwise, it was yet another epic showdown in the Space Room on Wednesday, with “Clarification, Please?” fighting off “Spoonful of Gumbo” for the top slot on the night. “Cattle Prodigy,” flexing their mental muscle for a second-straight week at Space Room still couldn’t pull out the victory, and they came in third. Here’s a shot of “Clarification” from their Space Room Saucer-winning week:

And now for your SPACE ROOM SAUCER STANDINGS:

1 Spoonful of … 16
2 No Future 15
- Clarifacation Please 15
4 House of Ill Repute 9
- Sparging the Mash 9
6 Cattle Prodigy 5
7 Team Cupcake 4
- Gum and Nuts, Together at Last 4
- Bobby Monster’s Linoleum Loafers 4
10 Laird Creiger 3
- Argyle Mafia 3

There’s SIX WEEKS TO GO in these here standings, so there’s still time to make your move!

Alright, that’s all for now…. See you next week! In the meantime, be well, play hard, and try to remember everything you can…

Yet again we had another record crowd for Maxwell’s last night. Team Awesome came back at the very end to beat out “Wide receiver Tight End” It was a very fun laid back evening for the most part. Quizmaster Wendy had a guest appearance calling out round 2. I hope everyone enjoyed my referee impersonations for the handout. No pic this week, but I’m sure Wendy will make up for it next week. Hope to see you all there again.

The Horse & Hound was full of teams battling it out for a big cash pot last night. Coming in first at the end of the fisticuffs was a team calling themselves The Pigskin Flaps:

This is a team that usually has a name they think I’ll be embarassed to say. Some of their highlights are “Jeremy Loves Caulk” for our home improvement theme, and last week they were “I still haven’t lost my virginity”. They actually discussed some Football-themed shenanigans such as “I like Unnecessary Roughness” or something with Tight-ends (but that’s so obvious!). Luckily, the week they won, their team-name-hot-beam-of-mean wasn’t focused on the quizmaster. =-)

In second place was the People’s Liberation Army of Hood River. In third place (maybe from rushed betting at my insistance) were the Sandbar Developers. I hope they forgive me, or Suzanne will never bring me Wisconsin cheese again. Which would make me a sad panda. Because happy pandas like cheese, or something.

Until next week!

Hey gang — I’ve gotta keep it brief this week, since I’ve spent all my time processing the GREAT photos that “Stumbling Drunks” Nathan took of the night. Couldn’t have picked a better day for photos either — Shanahan’s proved its popularity as a Pub Quiz venue this Tuesday, piling in its biggest crowd yet!

But we had a great time as usual this week — lots of laughs as I fumbled more French words, one team alleged that Tiger Woods had sex with John Edwards (hey, it’s not only possible, but it’s getting to be probably), and our first ever Shanahan’s Streakie Pointsteam took home the top prize! Congratulations, “Confucius Says!” Look at them all giddy with their winnings…

Check out more photos from the night on QUIZMASTER JPP’s FACEBOOK PAGE. It’s set up so friends of Quizmaster JPP and friends of friends can see them, but don’t worry — no one is tagged. Also, be sure to become a FAN OF QUIZMASTER JPP ON FACEBOOK (it’s actually a separate page, sorry for the confusion) to get great quiz tips and other hijinks throughout the week!