I distinctly remember that sparklers weren’t lame when I was a kid.  They were made of metal, and left a satisfying red hot glow even after the sparks were gone.  In fact, they looked like the sparkler pictured above.  I don’t know what happened, but most of the sparklers available today are made of wussy paper or something.  They burn so quickly and so poorly that I couldn’t even find a picture of one on the internet.  On the other hand, the old kind are still available, but have to be ordered online.  At least I have a plan for next year!

Regardless of the unfortunate state of sparklers in this society, we still have full access to pub quiz, yet another way to celebrate the holiday. A way that would make our more idealistic forefathers feel slightly peculiar, perhaps.  But no one cares as much about what the idealistic ones did. Regardless, quizzers rose to the occasion.

Congrats to The Insufferables for their unexpected first place win and the a two person visiting team, Itchy and Scratchy.  Team Awesome and Sunshine - Better Luck next week.

Cheers,

Leandra

Fresh off my trip back to the patriotic ol’ Boston, what do you know, we’ve got a USA-based Pub Quiz! In fact, I imagine The Belmont Inn looked a lot like Boston’s Green Dragon pub did back in the day of the revolution — lots of wirey conspirators pouring over papers and pints, whispering frantically while they plot their victory. Huh… I just came up with that just now as I typed it, but it’s pretty much right!

Well, the top conspirators of the night were the James Polk lovin’ lads of Fifty-Four Forty or Fuck! who’s impressive knowledge of all things American (from the Founding Fathers to the American Idols) solved the Quizlinks to be the point-leaders all the way through the Challenge Round. Normally known as the Wildcatters, these guys are making a name for themselves on the Pub Quiz circuit (when they’re not changing their names, that is). Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Beige Food rolled in a solid second-place, and the indignant Hob Knobs (still naming themselves after the British foodstuff) came in third, just three points away from second place.

Bragging rights go to the Sirens of Titan and Get Your Ass to Mars, in fourth and fifth, respectively. But no credit whatsoever go to the regulars who missed out on ONE-HOT-QUIZ last night! Come on back to Belmont, people! In the words of President Harrison Ford, “I’m counting on you, red, white, and blue!”

Because I suck at pronouncing stuff I’ve never read before.  Silly me!  Horse & Hound knows about this phenomena - let’s call it a ’syndrome’.  When you are concentrating on reading something without making a mistake, sometimes you read it phoenetically like it’s written.  Hence, Witchita (Witch-it-ahh) became “Witcheetuh” one fateful night at my quiz in Hood River.  I got an earful for that, lemme tell ya!

It even spread like some disease to other quizmasters.  Polly guffawed long and hard about it, because I used to call her on her mistakes when she was my quizmaster, back in Hillsboro like 2 years ago (When she said Greenwich phoenetically, we heckled her for about a month.)  I forget her exact comment on the blog post where I admitted to doing the same thing, but it was something like, “HAHA HOW’S IT FEEL JACKASS!”  She may have used different words, not sure.

ANYWAY, the point is that I said “Battle of Gloucester” completely wrong.  Gloucester is pronounced really, really different from the way it’s spelled.  Gallagher had it right man, the English language is so dumb sometimes.  It turned into a great discussion though.  The important part, I’m sure you know, is that she totally schooled me.

Tonight the crowd braved the crazy hot temperatures to do some trivia, and I’m quite happy they did!  First place with a commanding lead all night were The Fightin Menonites.  In second place came The Army of Skanks.  We laughed, we cried, we went to the schoolhouse.  Overall, I’d do it again.  Say, next Thursday?

It was a great night down at the Ol’ Thirsty Lion as we had 75 folks come out for our little freedom celebration. There was even an impromptu fireworks display while I was grading the second round… I knew that we couldn’t have that many combustibles around that crowd without something being lit up!! (I know there is another joke here… but i’m going to let it pass… o… ok i’ll take a hit… lol!!)

And as Usual the guys down at the Thirsty Lion came with lote of shit to give away… we bought a bottle of champagne for our Thirsty Lion Trivia Challenge winners and then we also had several pairs of tickets to give away for the Timbers/Bayern Munich game tonight!! NICE!!

But it’s the quiz that really brings in the kids and last night we had a good one!! And I couldn’t even complain when I got multiple ‘Your Mom!’ answers because that was in fact the correct answer!! LOL!! After I had read the question I knew some folks were going to take advantage of it… and you didn’t disappoint!! Although I was temped to deduct some points for all of the exclamation points!! LOL!!! TOO Funny!!

Well we had five teams get into the final round to play for a spit of our $225 pot last night. ‘No Clue’ and ‘T/X’ battled hard but fell out of the cash. ‘I’m With Stupid’ found their smart friends and took third while ‘Yahtze!’ screamed ‘Yahtze!’ when they won second. But in the end it was ‘54.40 or Go Fuck Yourself’ (The current ‘Fist of Knowledge’ holders ’The Everlasting Gobstoppers’  in disguise) once again cruised to the win and claimed their spot back on top of the Widmer Leader Board! Congrats Guys!!

Cheers!

Dave

Here are the current Widmer Leader Board scores after last night:

In case you were wondering.  And yes, capers can be delicious.  But, like all good things, too much and it turns into a bad thing.  You wouldn’t, for example, ever want to try a big bowl of capers.  I liken them to Will Farrell: when he’s the starring role in a film it can go downhill quick, but when he’s used sparingly, it’s awesome.  Like in Zoolander.  Still makes me smile to think about that movie.

Tonight The final Countdown took first place!  Another pub team pointed out that this might be a threepeat, with them taking first three weeks in a row.  I’ll have to check - they use different names each week but it shouldn’t be too hard to verify.  In second place tonight Team Jeff Goldbloom, with only 3 members, took home a good chunk of change to a smattering of applause.  People were impressed with the half-sized team’s performance, but not so impressed that they were super happy clapping for them.  Everyone wants the casshhhhhh!  Gimme the cash!

That’s a video from The 5th Element, and is only funny when you realize the guy’s “hat” is a picture of the hallway from the point of view of the peephole in the doorway.  It’s like super low tech invisibility! 

Every time I say “come get some cashhhh” at the end of quizzes I think of this guy.  That movie is so weird, yet so good.  One of many films that come a hair’s breadth from being utterly terrible.  Included on this prestigious list would be: Galaxy Quest, Shaun of the Dead, and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

These movies could have been SO BAD, but through either acting, dialogue, special effects, or something else entirely  they were just awesome.  Well, at least in my opinion.

Movies that didn’t make the list and slipped into terribleness: all four Karate Kid movies,  video game movies by Uwe Boll, and anything George Lucas produces.  I swear, everything that is terrible in film is touched by Lucas somehow.  Look it up next time you hate what you are watching!  Lucas will be there, lurking in the producers credits.  It’s creepy.

Hawthorne. There I sat tonight at the Spaceroom, all giddy and ready to LOL when people “Got the joke” and wrote down “YOUR MOM” to the wonderfully crafted question as the CORRECT answer. No one got the joke.   Then as I giggled to myself and greedily rubbed my hands together in anticipation ready to snap pictures and BOMBARD QM Dave with pics of all those “YOUR MOM” answers.  I read the first: “Mom”. The second :”Mom” the third :” Nothing” the fourth?: “dead”  You get the picture? Not a single YOUR MOM.  sheesh.  What’s a girl gotta do anyway?  I mean, sometimes I get phone numbers, elicit come-on’s and declarations of my sexiness, but RARELY do I get a “Your Mom” answer.  So there you have it. Apparently, historically, and some-what begrudgingly- it’s YOUR MOM,Dave, not mine. <insert angry face emoticon HERE>

The second week of The Space Room and we blasted off with a crew of 31 people on board and had a lovely little quiz.  It was a full on smack down with a sparkly bunch indeed.  In fact one of the teams called themselves “I Fucking Love Sparkly Seahorses” Nice.  Who doesn’t?  We also had “The Thriller is Dead” a nice homage to MJ who left us all empty with his premature passing last week.  I proved however with my ever growing playlist of awesomeness that Thriller is indeed NEVER going to die, and I played Thriller for the crowd as proof. NOT DEAD!  You guys know that MJ just went off to that island with Elvis and Janis and Jim, right?

The Cupcakes were back in the show tonight, in fabulous matching tube socks and shorty short outfits, alas, no sparklers to be found.  ALso not in attendance, John.  John has left the building, and it seems will not be returning to help them conquer anymore quizzes.  This did not stress the cupcakes however, as they had a blast just fighting it out for last place with the Bar Team that played as “Jake’s rebels”.  In the end however, those cupcakes that couldn’t spell anemometer even after I spelled it out in the previous question did WIN that coveted last place spot.  In fact there were only 3 teams out of the 9 that DID spell anemometer correctly, even after I did, in fact, spell the word in the previous question.  ADD much?  Hey I like trampolines!

Onward and upward!   At the end of the night, that final question asking for the completion of the verse from “This land is your land” required SILENCE in the Spaceroom while everyone wracked their brains to try and flesh it out.  Nah, no one got it right, but it was fun to watch you all sweat.

Things are groovy baby at the Spaceroom on Wednesday nights.  $2 well vodka drinks tonight, some $2 pints, and some kick ass food stuffs too.  We’re rocking over on Hawthorne, come out and join us.  See if you can trump those Cupcakes! And remember :

Polly

If you said 1775, I’m afraid I’ll be informing my superiors (*taps nose*).  Team The Unknown actually asked me if they could’ve brought along a middle schooler to help out with the U.S. history questions.  Alas, no.  It’s a bar, after all.

My first night out at Biddy’s was very exciting. Thanks to everyone for the warm welcome and I look forward to -uh-mastering your quizzes through the summer months.  I’m just glad I didn’t accidentally blow up the mixer.  I don’t think that mixers actually can blow up through normal use, even if used poorly.

Congrats to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Beige Food for taking first place last night and to We Didn’t inhale for second.

Now I have to go draft an angry letter to Texas and Florida, demanding that they switch mottos.

Cheers,

Leandra

Too bad it wasn’t opposite day!!! LOL!! That’s right we had a whopping 6 people at the old late night Grand Central no theme quiz… O Yea!! That’s what I love about this job one week your in front of 120 people… the next 6… can you say emotional roller coaster?

We had the guys from T/X taking each other on in a battle royal amongst themselves as well as ‘The Pre-Hab Allstars’ who were sending one of their own off to the big city!! Good Luck in New York man!!

In the mano a mano battle ‘Blair Force One’ edged out ‘Just Barry’ by three points… but it was ‘The Pre-hab Allstars’ who ran the night and won the huge $18 pot!!! Whoo-Hoo!!! What you going to do with all of that cash guys???!!!

Seriously, though if you haven’t checked us out at Grand Central… you need to… it really is one of the best places in town to quiz!!! And after talking to Brad we’re going to hook everyone up with some great food and drink specials to entice you guys into the spot!! Check back for updates!!

Cheers!

Dave

unless your name is John Hancock or, unless you want to be remembered for THAT (size) in which case, be sure you flaunt that big ass signature ALL OVER those historic documents, cause you will be sure to go down in history as the “A-hole that signed the dec biggest”.  Well his name was HAN-COCK what do you expect?  Taking the Freudian approach to this situation, we might assume that Johnny boy was overcompensating for something missing in his life.  Perhaps an attachment to his mother, perhaps his own *ahem* inadequacies?  Of course, one can also possibly deduce that ol’ John Hancock was dumb jock on the team of dec signers who was downing a beer and thinking that “OMG-Won’t this be funny hundreds of years from now?”  Of course when you look at the historic prespectives, which are much less fun, you find that it’s all legend about why JH singed bigger than the other siggies.  but in reality, it was just that ol JH signed EVERYTHING with a bold signature.  What would encourage a man to have such a large signature?  WELL–You know what they say “Big signature–BIG BOOTS”    So there you have it, JH may or may not have been compensating for something, we’ll never know.  It seems there were no scandalous tell all books about the men that signed the Declaration of Independance.  There should have been.  And some paparazzi pictures too boot damn it.  Where are all the good sex videos?

Size doesn’t matter either for team “Little Nemo” as they had a rival team that signed up right after them call themselves “The Biggest fucking Nemo you’ve ever seen” and indeed, these two teams were back to back in points most of the night. Biggest Fucking Nemo TYING at the end of the game for third place with Little Nemo.  You can’t make that shit up folks, it was a pub quiz debauchery of EPIC proportions.  Well played by The Biggest Fucking Nemo You’ve ever Seen right up until that very last round.  The finals.  They blew it! They were SO CLOSE to tying it up, or possibly even taking first place, and then *Sham-wow kapow* they bet NOTHING–I mean a big fat ZERO and thus, Little Nemo stood before the crowd as they gathered their second place earnings and announced “You don’t mess with Litlte Nemo” *PEW PEW* then he shot lasers out of his eyes and killed those fuckers RIGHT THERE.  So we lit some sparklers around them as a makeshift funeral pyre then took all their money and credit cards and left the building after we stopped downstairs for a fresh beer and pastry.  And YES– The Siren’s of Titan won the game, there were only 6 points seperating first from fifth place last night..so it was VITALLY IMPORTANT to wager well.  Some teams did wear their big boy pants to the wager table it seems. Others?  Perhaps we should take a look at their signatures?

What, you missed it? Well stick around next time after we announce the final five and see what happens, it gets intense sometimes.  I hope Little Nemo left a big enough tip to cover cleaning up the WHOOP ASS that they left behind on the table of Biggest Fucking Nemo You’ve Ever Seen.

Till next time- POLLY

See JH in action here he’s sneery when he declares: ” Watch me sign this you small signature little fools, I dareth thee to sign as big as thine own”  They spoke like Shakespeare then, right?

But the levy was dry.  What’s with that?  I mean, I just want to drink my whiskey and rye and talk about this being the day that we die.  This’ll be the day that I die.  Myyyy Myyyy miss American pie!

In band camp, this one time…  You know, the first American Pie movie was okay in that awkward Meet The Parents way.  And Jason Biggs was awkward enough to get a few laughs.  But did it really merit so many sequels?  Was the franchise that popular?

I mean, you’ve got American Pie 2, American Wedding, American Pie Presents Band Camp, American Pie Presents The Naked Mile, American Pie Presents Beta House…  I’m not even sure if that’s all of them.  Look at this -

What the hell is this?  It even says “Presente” like it’s slightly in another language or something.  I can’t even tell.  When I see how far this thing has gone, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills or something.  (Thanks Will Ferrell!)

Aaaanyway.  Tonight the game was close all night, but The Sheep Shaggers clawed their way to first place!  Just points behind in second was Dazed & Confused.  But next week is another game, and it’s anyone’s game at that.  Sheep Shaggers are goin’ DOWNNNNN!

Afterward we had an awesome sparkler party in the parking lot.  The sun was right in our eyes, and even though we were thusly blinded it wasn’t quite as fun playing with fireworks before dark.  Also, I think about half of us got angry sparkler burned.  Those things are more dangerous than I remember, man!

Oh and P.S. Mike, I really want that phone damnit.

P.P.S. Blake is a brave, brave man doing that with his shirt when people were lighting angry sparklers mere feet from him.